The Free Website for Pescists

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"The following day, Carlin, Lawrence, and Randall rose early and prepared for the coming of Pesci. They took cleansing baths and meditated for twenty hours. They donned their grey  ceremonial robes and meditated for twenty more hours. Then they sat in the desert and waited for the sun to rise. It was the third day after the Lord had warned them of the Second Coming. Suddenly, the sun broke the horizon and cast a beautiful orange light on the crowd of loyal Pescists. And then, in a second flash of light, Joe Pesci materialized before the people. Everyone got up and bowed to The Lord’s Son and praised his magnificent acting prowess and bathed in the warm light of his smile. Then Carlin ordered that the whole company carry Pesci back to Dan (the country had been renamed as the Lord’s Empire, but Dan was the capital city and retained its name in that manner). When they reached Dan, a huge feast had miraculously appeared in the town hall and everyone rejoiced and worshipped The Sun and Joe Pesci and ate the delicious God-given food which was there. From that day forth, the week on which Pesci came to the Middleworld for the second time has been known as Doven Week, and the day Pesci descended has been known as Doven Day. They are celebrated with a massive feast."

PESCI, 3:1-3:12

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Welcome to, home of the Holy Church of Pesci!

Pescism is the unorganized worship of our Lord The Sun, but not prayer to Him; that would be rather impolite, so instead we pray to His Son, Joe Pesci. The only information that a true Pescist considers fact is that which he or she has seen with his or her own eyes, or that which is told about in The Truth, The Latter Book, or The Final Tome, or any other words that have come from the Lord through His Prophets.

Here are the three commandments as given by the Lord to George Carlin, His Prophet, on Mount Diablo in the year 371528 AP, or 393 BC.

"After some time, The Sun saw that the people were disbelieving and dismissive of Pescism, so he saw that he had to do something more to convince them. So he searched far and wide for a dedicated Pescist who was reputable among the humans and worthy of receiving prophethood from The Sun Himself. Eventually He found George Carlin. He called him to come and meet Him on the top of Mount Diablo, and then He sent him all of his wisdom and the Three Commandments, which are as follows:

1.   Thou shalt try very hard not to kill anyone unless they worship a different invisible Man.

2.   Thou shalt always be honest and faithful.

3.   Thou shalt worship The Sun, but pray to Joe Pesci because it’s not polite to presume on a friendship with the Deity.

"And so George Carlin descended from Mount Diablo to the great valley below."

CREATION, 4:1-4:8